Something in my life had to give in September, and it was training. And since I wasn't training, I wasn't blogging. Training = blogging content.
It wasn't just one thing, it was a number of things that were adding up that was adding all of this unneeded pressure (all from within) that were putting expectations on me to perform and succeed. I couldn't take it anymore, and my body started to revolt on me. And over the last 5 seasons, I have learned that when my body starts to revolt on me, its time to take a break.
And I did just that.
I didn't go to the pool for 6 weeks.
I didn't touch my bike for 6 weeks.
I was running maybe once a week?
I didn't lift a heavy thing other than a box of cereal.
How did all of this come to a head?
Well, let me tell you!
First, I was mentally fried all season with training. I really didn't want to do Mont Tremblant (I am glad I did it!) and so I suffered through all season of training. That is how I became so burned out.
Second, a few weeks before Mont Tremblant, I was experiencing some lower back pain, but I thought it was just fatigue or the usual wear and tear of Ironman training and that it would go away. It never did. After Mont Tremblant it started to get worse, and by the end of September it was starting to debilitate my running!
Third, a LOT has been going on at work. In my trifecta of life, relationships come first, followed by work, followed by triathlon. If work is nuts, then triathlon will suffer, since work provides funding for triathlon. Unfortunately there was a very quick management change in my department, and I was thrust into an interim supervisor role to finish off "Epic" due out next May and also to oversee the look development for Fur on our upcoming movie "Peanuts" due out in less than three years. Not to mention as being a Supervisor, I am overseeing 13 other members of my department making sure everything is going well. And not to add any more pressure, I am the youngest person in my department....SCARY!!!
This has taken my level of responsibility and multiplied it by a factor of 10!
And unfortunately another thing had to give. With me being so busy at work and training suffering, having a coach was no longer a logical thing to have. It tears me up really really bad to have to end having a coach as Eric pushed me above and beyond anything I thought was possible in this sport. I hope to one day return to him when I re find that balance of life/work/training.
So what does all of this mean?
I would like to continue training, as I have plans to head out to Utah next May for the St George 70.3 and have another crack at the Mont Tremblant 70.3 in late June. But my work responsibilities will dictate how much time I will have to train. I don't want to repeat this past July & August in terms of how many hours I was working and how many hours I needed to train. That was absolute misery and I just wasn't functioning like a normal human being then.
As for this blog? I would like to continue blogging. Unfortunately I can't follow others anymore. I might read your blog every now and then, but don't expect a comment from me. I'd like to get more back to my roots with this blog and use it more as a journal to describe my latest workout. I did this at first, then discovered other readers, and then changed my style of writing to more entertaining for others, when the whole point of this blog was for chronicling my triathlon "journey." Ok, I guess I accomplished both, I was putting too much pressure on myself to write posts that would be solely entertaining for my readers. Time to pull this back from a post modernism style to just modernism.
I realized that this past Fall that I WANT triathlon to continue to be a part of my life, but I think this next year is going to be a bit of a step back in terms of involvement to prioritize other aspects of my life. This latest career development is a HUGE step forward in my career and if it turned from "interim" to "permanent" it would basically solidify an already successful career.
I feel like "something out of our control" was steering me in this direction all along. Have you ever taken a Myers Briggs Personality Test to figure out what kind of personality you have? I did this a few years ago and it yielded this:
Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact. Decisive, quickly move to implement decisions. Organize projects and people to get things done, focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible. Take care of routine details. Have a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also. Forceful in implementing their plans.
Uh, DUH! The above describes me PERFECTLY. Basically my personality type is meant for management. I have NO place creating artwork. In fact my personality type is the polar opposite of a true artist. I was hand picked by "the powers that be" to fill the role of supervisor. No fucking wonder I was picked! Haha!
So, anyways, this is what is up. I am coming off of my burnout of training. Not having a coach is scary since he dictated what I did on a daily basis for two years, and he pushed me forward at the same, but also at the same there is some relief that I am back in control of what I want to do going forward.